is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Randomize
