So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
