is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
