real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
