Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
