So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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