Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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