Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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