do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
