I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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