New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
