They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
