I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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