do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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