Please, let me fuck your mom
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had to cum in my sink.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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