please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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