Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
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2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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