he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize