I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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