margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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