Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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