I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
