I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
