Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
