We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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