im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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