She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
