we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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