You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I feel like abortions should bother me more
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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