remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
