Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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