Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
