I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
