i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
