Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
