remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
