Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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