At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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