she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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