We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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