Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
