Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
