You really coming over, don't trick.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
