Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
