Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
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Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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