one might say we're banned from that church
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
