Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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