GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
