You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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