we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
