Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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