you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
