i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
