I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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