it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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