you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
People with herpes should wear stickers.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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