is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
