I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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