You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
