I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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