Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
