Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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