Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The beer is more important than you right now.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This is my gift to your gina
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
